


'Family' and Other Things that Don't Really Exist.

by Brennah_K



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Hawaii Five-0 (2010), NCIS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Crossover, Drabble Sequence, Evil Author Day 2020
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:00:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22916623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brennah_K/pseuds/Brennah_K
Summary: Tony has a secret that has isolated him from almost everyone he's ever met: he's the son of  British pureblood-born squib and the illegitimate son of a naturalized Italian no-maj, who threw money at his bastard-son but never taught him what family meant.Tony's biggest problem, though, is that it's a secret he doesn't even know himself, and the family who do know are invested, for their own reasons, in keeping his legacy from him.
Comments: 16
Kudos: 71





	1. June 18, 1974, Martha's vineyard.

**Author's Note:**

> My first go at Evil Authors Day fics: These were written and waiting to be posted, when a lingering case of bronchitis/allergies/coughing that won't go away took me down to two active, if overworked, brain cells, so I'm a bit delayed posting, but should have the others in by tomorrow or the day after or end of the week at the latest.

Salt-water spattering from his shirt and pant cuffs, shoes squishing wetly, Tony ran as hard as he could. Hoping desperately that the time his father took - to apologize for the 'scene' _Tony_ had caused by being 'accidentally' bumped over the speed boat's rail by his potential client's son - would give Tony a good head start before his father caught up. Senior’s temper was always hottest right in the first few seconds, but if he couldn’t find Tony immediately, he invariably found his way to a drink cart and had a few drinks and sometimes ‘company’ before ‘rounding Tony up’, usually in a mellower mood. The strategy worked when his father had a bad round on the golf course, and he hoped it would for the yacht club, too. Tony was sure his father had seen what ‘Ed Jr.’ did, but only cared about keeping a client happy. So what if Tony was pushed over the rail and into the water so hard it took a second or two to catch his breath. So what if Tony couldn't swim because his father hadn’t wanted to ‘waste money’ when his mother asked to hire a swim coach. So what if Tony really hadn’t learned to float yet, either. 

As Mr. Henrickson held out oar for him to grab, the quickly hidden anger on his father's face wiped all other thoughts away. Whatever they discussed while turning the boat around, it clearly hasn't gone to his father’s plans, and Tony knew who was going to be blamed for it. As soon as the boat docked and he was lifted out onto the dock, Tony ran for it - barely keeping down the bitter sobs clawing at his chest. To his father, crying was Tony's worst trait, and if he caught Tony at it in his current mood…. Tony shuddered at the thought.

“Here now, Boyo.” His father’s chauffeur, Malcolm, coaxed as Tony ran into his legs, his escape thwarted. 

Crouching down in front of Tony, the twenty-something British ex-pat gently pushed Tony's sopping hair out of his face and murmured something too quiet for him to hear. Tony's anxiety melted into a numb peace as Malcolm got him settled into his seat that only faded when he realized that getting the seat of the expensive rental soaked with salt water would make his father even more furious, somehow, though, he'd drip dried and warmed up during the short run. “What do you think you were doing running off like that?” His father demanded as he stalked to the car and climbed in beside Tony. 

“He knew you'd be in a hurry and didn’t want to hold you up, Sir, while he got cleaned up," Malcolm unexpectedly lied for Tony. 

“Well…” Senior groused,, ‘At least you have one brain cell left,” clearly disappointed as his primary reason for yelling at Tony taken away. He'd still 'talk' to Tony later, but frankly, Tony was happy for any reprieve he could get. 


	2. December 1st, 1975: Boston International Airport.

While his father spoke with the man who'd abruptly stopped rolling the frame from the hearse toward the plane ramp, explaining 'their decision', Tony quickly rubbed the tears out of his eyes with the heel of his palms. His father despised his 'snivelling', and Tony didn't think he would let him get away with it, even today.

His mom would have. She might have even hugged him, but that wasn't something that his father ever did… and it was going to be just them, now.

Waiting until he was sure that his father was distracted, Tony went up to the cream and gold-leaf embellished coffin and whispered a quiet goodbye to his mother. He didn't think she would have liked the coffin very much; it wasn't very baroque, and Tony knew the gold leaf was too broad and pale to be tasteful - from sitting in on his mother’s many discussions with various interior decorators. When Tony had mentioned that to his father, though, Senior had groused that 'she wouldn't have to look at it', then sent Tony out to wait in the car with Malcolm.

They were supposed to be accompanying her casket back to England, to attend the funeral and to watch it being interred into the family plot, which his father said that he was only going along with because "the old snob was 'footing the bill'," but his father had decided that morning that there were business matters too important to leave unattended. 

As soon as the loading manager had heard that, though, he had stopped loading her casket and started to explain to his father that it was against the company’s policy to ship unattended bodies without a family representative escorting it, but that there were transport services that could provide that service, which quickly devolved into an argument when his father waived the hearse driver off, announcing that he wasn’t going to let the funeral home run up delivery expenses while they resolved the matter. 

“There’ll be someone there to pick it up, when you arrive.” His father protested loudly. 

The man held his ground, though, refusing to sign the papers the hearse driver had given his father, transferring possession of his mother’s casket, until Tony’s father finally snapped. Giving Malcolm his and Tony’s tickets, Senior ordered him to “take the ‘boy”’, see to the delivery of the casket, and then catch the next flight back. He ignored the manager’s protests (that their tickets weren’t transferable), only to point out that their cashier hadn’t said anything to that affect when he bought their tickets, that Malcolm already had limited power of attorney to care for Tony (since his father had gone to business meetings after Tony’s mother had gone into the hospital), and that it was the airline's fault for requiring a representative, Senior grabbed the clipboard, signed it, tore off the customer’s copy, took Malcolm’s keys, grunted at Tony to behave, and left. 


	3. December 2nd, 1975: Paddington Manor. Cotswold, England.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a small note, this is the last chapter that I'd written in the EAD range, but the fic's stayed on my mind over the past couple of weeks, and I found some spare time this last weekend to draft the next chapter. So, there's a chance that I may have an update sometime this week. (No promises, though; it is an EAD fic, after all.)

Tony’s Uncle Clive was the funniest, quirkiest man Tony had ever met.

He asked Tony some of the strangest questions imaginable and seemed sad when Tony either didn’t understand what he was asking or replied in the negative: 

     No,Tony couldn’t remember ever having toys float off high shelves into his arms. 
     As far as he could remember, lights never ‘popped’ back on after his father had turned them out at night.
     No, he couldn’t remember any mechanical toys coming to life without being wound up.
     No, he’d never had food he didn’t like just ‘poof’ off his plate or have a biscuit (the British name for a cookie) appear on his plate before he was done with dinner...

And some fifty other odd questions that Tony couldn’t answer the way his Uncle seemed to hope he could.

Uncle Clive also had one of the longest beards Tony had ever seen - braided in a way he’d never seen. Long, thin braids, starting each side of the beard were braided so they criss-crossed the beard every two inches in repeating x’s from the tip of his uncle’s chin - down to his knees where the strands met in the middle to form a long-tailed Y that was tied off with a mix of gemstones. Judging by a longer strand of gemstones hanging from the back of his uncle’s beard, it was braided the same way underneath, too. While it did seem to keep his uncle’s beard rather tidy, it was still one of oddest things that Tony had ever seen, next to his uncle’s clothing. 

The entire time they spent with his Uncle Clive, his uncle wore outfits that reminded Tony of priest’s habits from tv shows (Tony was certain his uncle wasn’t a priest or any other form of officiate) except the robes were in oddest arrays of colors with hundreds and hundreds of buttons, up and down sleeves, buttoning his waistcoats, buttoning his boots, securing his trouser legs, and almost everywhere Tony could see. As odd as it looked, Uncle Clive wore his robes like they were the most natural thing in the world, and when they went out to get Tony a bouquet of his mother’s favorite flowers for the internment, no one even noticed the man’s appearance, despite being dressed quite normally themselves. 

Tony worried that Malcolm would lose his job for keeping them there long enough to watch the ceremony interring his mother into the Paddington ‘family crypts’, but his uncle assured him there was no reason to worry and that Tony would be back to his father before the man even knew it. It sounded impossible, but Tony knew he didn’t have any choice, really, so bit his tongue and, with his uncle’s assistance, picked a sizable bouquet of flowers he was sure his mother would have approved of: pale rose-gold amaryllis and cymbidiums. 


End file.
